


Dungeons and Flagons (of Cocoa)

by Luces



Category: South Park
Genre: Christmas Eve, Craig and Those Guys Secret Santa 2019, Dungeons & Dragons References, Explicit Language, Fantasy Violence, Friendship, Hot Chocolate, M/M, Ugly Holiday Sweaters, some Stick of Truth references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21986125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luces/pseuds/Luces
Summary: It's Christmas Eve and the adults are all out at some boring Christmas party. Clyde is bored, so he invites his best bros over for a Christmas-themed D&D one-shot campaign.Written for @Nokoikoi-draws on Tumblr as part of the Craig and Those Guys Secret Santa event
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Comments: 10
Kudos: 68





	Dungeons and Flagons (of Cocoa)

**Author's Note:**

> Happy holidays to everyone! I was @nokoikoi-draws' Secret Santa, and their prompts that they requested under the metaphorical tree were "Dungeons and Dragons, Christmas Sweaters, Playing Video Games, Stick of Truth (Also uh... Bonus Creek would be... really nice)". You'd better believe I'd go with Dungeons and Dragons (my husband has an entire book shelf devoted to various tabletop RPGs), but I also managed to add in Christmas sweaters, some Stick of Truth references (mainly character names and classes) and Creek into what is hopefully a fun little fic. Please enjoy!

_The brave party of adventurers had been trekking through the forest for several days when they came across a small town at the base of a mountain. They were cold, tired, and hungry, having had to camp outside and hunt for their food. They cried out in joy when they spotted the local inn._

_As they entered the building, they were nearly blinded by all of the brightly colored lights strung up around the lobby. Several stockings were hung up along the front desk. A giant tree loomed in front of them, covered in multicolored baubles and shiny silver tinsel. The adventures were rendered speechless by the spectacle and didn't notice the innkeeper approach the desk._

_"Hello! Welcome to the Noel Inn! What can I do you for, gentlemen?"_

* * *

"Wait a minute, wait a minute. Are you serious, dude? You dragged us over here to do a Christmas-themed campaign?" asked Craig.

"Yeah, Craig, I did! I _literally_ mentioned that's what we were doing in the group text!" Clyde said, pointing to his phone. "I also said that I was hella bored cause my dad went out to get wasted at some Christmas Eve party, and I didn't want to sit around alone watching the same damn Christmas specials they've been playing all fucking week!"

"Yeah, my parents are that party, too," said Token. "I was glad to have something to do tonight, honestly."

"Di-di...ditto," said Jimmy. "Di-did you have some other plans tonight, Craig?"

"Uh, yeah. I was going to hang out with Tweek tonight."

"Dude! He's literally curled up right next to you on the couch!" said an exasperated Clyde.

" _Ngh—_ look Craig," Tweek said, in between sips of his espresso-spiked cocoa, "I love you, and you _know_ I love Stripe, but I really didn't want to spend the whole night staring at her with you. I have fun playing my barbarian! And weren't you the one who wanted me to get into playing D&D in the first place?"

"Yeah, I was, and I'm happy that you're enjoying it, but…you could've tried harder with the name, babe. I mean...Twunk? Really?" asked Craig.

"I panicked! Coming up with character names was too much pressure!"

"You're giving shit to Tweek about his character name?" asked Jimmy. "Since we were ten, all you've only ever r-rolled human rogues named Feldspar."

"Shut up, 'Bardy McBardison'."

"All of your character's names suck. Token's cleric is the only one with a good name," said Clyde.

"Aww, thanks bro!" said Token.

"Come on, Clyde, you're only saying that cause you— _ngh_ —have a crush on him," mumbled Tweek into his mug.

"Wait, what?" asked Token.

"Uh, anyway! Continuing the story!"

* * *

_"Hello and good evening! Welcome to the Noel Inn! What can I do you for, gentlemen?"_

_"Hello, good sir!" greeted Kogan the Virtuous_. _"We are but a simple band of adventurers who are looking for some beds to rest our weary heads."_

_"Ah yes! I can certainly get you some rooms. We have hardly any occupants tonight." The Innkeeper began to fill out paperwork to initiate the transaction._

_"Why is that, if I may ask?" asked Kogan._

_"Business just hasn't been the same since the burglaries started. Travelers just don't want to come through Noel anymore for fear of losing all their stuff, or worse, getting mugged."_

_"Burglaries, you say?" asked Bardy. "Does anyone have more information—?"_

_"Graaawr! TWUNK HUNGRY!" The large half-orc barbarian stomped his feet on the ground, his hands clenched into large mallet-like fists._

_"Uh, yeah, my barbarian boyfriend is hungry and tired and about to tear this building apart if we don't wrap this up. And trust me, you don't want that," said Feldspar._

_"Oh no! Please don't punch holes into my walls! Very well, gentlemen, for two rooms and four beds, that'll be five silver."_

_Bardy opened up the party's purse. "Uh...we only have three silver and two copper. Would you be willing to barter the worth of the rooms for the worth of my bard skills? I play a mean lute!"_

_"Yeah, no. It's five silver or nothing."_

* * *

"I steal the innkeeper's purse while he's talking," said Craig.

Clyde stared blankly at Craig. "Really? Are you shitting me, dude?"

"Bro, I'm chaotic neutral. We don't have enough money for a room. It's a perfectly legit way to get the money, and it's well within my alignment."

Clyde sighed. "Okay, dude. Roll a dexterity check."

Craig rolled the twenty-sided die and they all leaned in to see where it landed.

Craig had a shit-eating grin on his face. "Nat twenty crit, bitch."

* * *

_Feldspar leaned over the front desk and grabbed the innkeeper's purse from his pant pocket. He opened it in front of the man, removed five silver, and returned the purse to where it came. The innkeeper remained still, smiling at the adventurers, not saying a word about what was happening._

_Feldspar placed the money on the desk and pushed it forward. "There you go, buddy. Five whole silver. Can we have our keys now?"_

_"PLEASE!" yelled Twunk, nudging his boyfriend._

_"Ugh, fine. Can we have our keys now, please?"_

_"May we," said Bardy, grinning._

_"Fuck you, Bardy! I'm not repeating myself again!"_

_The innkeeper retrieved the keys from the drawer and held them out for the men to take._

_He picked his key and bowed to the innkeeper. "Thank you, dear sir, for your hospitality. I hope to see you on the morrow!" He turned to his friends before heading upstairs to his room. "As for you guys, I'm done with y'all tonight."_

_The rest of the party followed suit, falling into a deep sleep once their heads hit the pillow. They awoke at dawn with a start when a scream rang out through the inn._

_The adventurers descended the stairs to find the innkeeper and his wife standing in the lobby. Tears streamed down her face as she surveyed the room. The strings of lights were gone. The tree was nowhere to be seen. The stockings had disappeared without a trace._

_"All my hard work, gone in a night!" she cried._

_"Dammit!" cursed the innkeeper. "Even we weren't immune from the burglars! Why? Why must they do this?"_

_"It looks like they stole all of your decorations. Was there anything else they stole? Money? Silverware? Personal records of past guests?" asked Kogan._

_"No, thank goodness. These burglars only seem to steal our beautiful Christmas decorations and the gifts under our trees, but they are what make the heart of Noel! Without Christmas, we're just a quiet, little, white bread, redneck, mountain town."_

_"BAD MEN STOLE CHRISTMAS FROM GOOD PEOPLE OF NOEL!" bellowed Twunk._

* * *

"It's the Grinch."

"Excuse me?" Clyde halted from his DM duties to glare at Craig.

"We're gonna fight the Grinch. That's who stole the stuff."

"You don't know that."

"It's pretty obvious, dude."

"Craig...just...okay?"

* * *

_"By any chance is there a bounty out for this Christmas thief?" Bardy asked the Innkeeper, wiggling his eyebrows as he did._

_"I don't believe that there has been an official bounty assigned to the mystery suspect, but if you go ask the Mayor, I bet he'd hire you for the job."_

_"It's worth a try," said Kogan._

_Kogan thanked the Innkeeper and his wife for the rooms and the adventurers went outside. They headed further toward the center of town, expecting that the Mayor's house would be somewhere near there. Their assumptions were correct._

_As they neared the center of town, they noticed a large crowd of people gathered in front of the largest house in the area. They were shouting, booing, and holding up signs in front of the Mayor's windows._

_"Mr. Mayor! Why aren't you doing anything about these robberies?! We pay our taxes! Do your job!"_

_"Coward! You can't stay in there forever!"_

_"Hey-hey! Ho-ho! This town's thief has got to go!"_

_The four men glanced at each other, then back at the crowd._

_"You think we can just push through the front?" asked Feldspar._

_"What? No! We're strangers to this town. If we go right through the front door after shoving people out of our way, we're going to have a situation on our hands," said Kogan._

_"Eh, whatever. We can fight them."_

_"Feldspar! That's not what we're here to do. I don't want any unnecessary bloodshed. Back me up on this, Bardy."_

_"Uh...I will in a moment, but...Twunk just went behind the house."_

_They all looked toward the back of the Mayor's house to watch Twunk's muscular body disappear from sight. They followed suit, thankful that none of the protestors had ever noticed their presence._

_They found Twunk standing in front of the back door, pointing at it._

_"TWUNK FOUND OTHER DOOR! DID TWUNK DO GOOD?"_

_"Baby, you did amazing," said Feldspar. He took Twunk's large hand in his and kissed the back of it. "All right then, it's time for me to shine."_

_He approached the door and stopped to inspect it._

* * *

"Is the door locked?" asked Craig.

"Yes, it is," said Clyde.

"Okay, then I check for traps." Craig picked up a die and prepared to roll.

"Why would there even be traps outside the Mayor's door?" Tweek asked. "Just what kind of Mayor is this?!" He sat up from his spot snuggled up to Craig and looked concerned. "Oh my god, _the Mayor is the thief!"_

"Calm down, Tweek, the Mayor isn't the thief," said Clyde.

"Spoiler ah-ah-... spoiler alert," said Jimmy.

"I told you, it's the Grinch," said Craig, flatly.

Clyde picked up a chocolate candy and flung it at Craig's head.

"Ow! What the fuck, Clyde?"

"Quit saying that we're gonna fight the Grinch! And be glad I didn't throw my hot cocoa at you!" He sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Roll a perception check."

Craig rolled the die and obtained a high enough number.

"There are no traps present. The door is still locked."

"Okay then, I'm gonna pick the lock."

Craig took the die once more and rolled a dexterity check, obtaining a five.

"You fail to pick the lock," said Clyde.

* * *

_Twunk ripped the door off of its hinges and tossed it to the side._

_"That is the hottest thing I have ever seen," said Feldspar._

_"Well, that takes care of that. Shall we?" asked Kogan._

_The party entered the house and searched through each room. They found the Mayor in his bedroom, cowering in the corner. He screamed in terror when the four strange men entered his room, covering his head with his arms. He rocked back and forth, shaking in fear. No matter what the men said to him, he only whimpered in response._

_"I guess it's my turn to help," said Bardy. "This guy is being a little bitch, so I'll cast Calm Emotions on him."_

_He successfully cast his spell on the Mayor, instantly causing him to stop trembling and become capable of complete sentences._

_"Who are you and why are you in my house?" he asked._

_"Sir, we are but four adventures who came upon your town to rest last night," Kogan explained. "We have heard of the dilemma that is facing Noel, and we have come to offer our services. We shall hunt down who or whatever is stealing the townspeople's Christmas gifts and decorations, and we shall defeat them."_

_"For a fee, of course!" added Bardy._

_"Uh...yes! Yes, of course! Pay someone else to do the hard work! It's a deal, boys! If you can find the crook who is causing all of this chaos, I will reward you handsomely. You have my word as a politician."_

_The four men shook the Mayor's hand and they exited the way they entered._

_They split up into pairs outside. Kogan and Bardy interviewed any townsfolk who would talk to them._

_"I might be crazy, but I swear I've been hearing strange noises coming from the mountain lately."_

_"My dog has been awfully nervous recently, especially at night. I'm not really sure why, though."_

_"Oh yeah, there is_ *hic* _definitely some sort of monster living on the mountain now. I can hear his howls echoing at night when I get home from the_ *hic* _pub."_

_Meanwhile, Twunk and Feldspar searched around the perimeter of the inn, hoping to find any sort of clue._

_"If there were any footprints made last night, the fresh snow has covered them up," grumbled Feldspar. "Find anything, babe?"_

* * *

"Against the side of the inn, you find some scraps of green fur half buried under the snow," said Clyde.

Craig looked over at Clyde and stared at him blankly. Clyde picked up a piece of chocolate and threatened to throw it once more. Craig looked away, not saying anything, but making his thoughts known.

* * *

_"TWUNK FOUND WEIRD FUZZIES!" He pulled the scraps of fur up from the snow and waved them around above his head._

_"Calm down, Twunk! Stop making such a scene! You already stand out as it is, and I really don't like being noticed." Feldspar looked around to make sure no one was spying on them._

_"TWUNK SORRY, BABE. TWUNK LOVE YOU." Twunk moved all of the scraps to one hand and used his free arm to scoop up Feldspar. He nuzzled his cheek against Feldspar's_ _cheek, then planted a kiss on it._

* * *

"See? You're still doing exactly what you'd have been doing at home, but you're spending time having a Christmas adventure with us, too!" said Clyde.

Craig turned beet red and tugged on the strings of his hat. "You don't know that for certain," he mumbled.

"I can confirm that that's what we'd end up doing in between Stripe staring contests," Tweek laughed.

"Dammit, Tweek! You're lucky you're cute."

* * *

_"You're lucky you're cute," Feldspar blushed. "All right, let's meet up with the others."_

_They spotted Bardy and Kogan heading toward them from the center of town. They waved them down into an alley between two stores._

_"So?" asked Feldspar._

_"So we had several people tell similar stories about hearing strange noises coming from the mountain at night," said Kogan. "Too many people gave similar accounts for it to be purely coincidence."_

_"Twunk found these oddly colored scraps of fur outside the inn," said Feldspar, holding out the evidence for his companions to see._

_"Hmm...I've never seen any creature with fur of that shade. That_ is _odd," said Kogan._

_"Maybe there's a species of monster that we've never seen before that dwells high up in the mountains of this region" Bardy suggested. "We_ are _unfamiliar with this area, after all."_

_"FUR. COLD. MOUNTAIN. YETI?"_ asked Twunk.

_"I think Twunk has the right idea. There's a high probability that it's an intelligent species of Yeti that we're dealing with," said Kogan, nodding._

* * *

"Aww, I was h-hoping it was a Christmas dragon," said Jimmy. "You know, one that hordes Christmas stuff."

"That would have been so cool!" said Tweek.

"I was this close to doing that, honestly. But just you wait. What I have planned is even better than that," grinned Clyde. "And it's not the fucking Grinch, Craig!" he added as Craig opened and shut his mouth.

* * *

_The party spent the rest of the day stocking up on supplies they'd need for the journey. While they went around town, they asked the locals for information on the mountain. The locals told them that you could reach the summit in about five or six hours, but that very few people ever made it that far._

_"When you reach about the halfway point, the weather really starts to do a number on you," said a retired adventurer. "Just because it's sunny and windless here in Noel, that doesn't mean that there isn't a blizzard happening somewhere on Mount Tannenbaum. If you boys plan to head up there, you'd better get the proper gear for the weather."_

_"Where would you recommend we purchase this gear, good sir?" asked Kogan._

_"There's a store that sells gear for extreme temperatures at the edge of town."_

_The party stopped by the store to gear up for the cold temperatures and wind that they would experience on the mountain._

* * *

"Okay, I'm going to stop here for a moment. When I invited you guys over tonight, I had a secret agenda," said Clyde.

He got up from the head of the table and disappeared into another room in the house.

"Five dollars says he's going to kill us," said Jimmy.

" _WHAT?!"_ shrieked Tweek.

"It's okay, babe, he's joking," Craig said as he rubbed Tweek's arm to calm him. "Make it ten," he said, turning to Jimmy.

"Oh god! Oh Jesus!"

" _Oooo_ kay! Who's ready for their _big surprise?!"_ said Clyde as he emerged from the other room with something in his hands.

"Not me! I don't wanna die!" cried Tweek, covering his face.

"Huh? I just got you guys some gifts," said Clyde.

He placed down four boxes of identical shape and size on the table, one in front of each person. Each one was covered in a different colored wrapping paper.

"So this is where real life is going to blend into the campaign. What is inside these boxes is linked to your character's gear for the fight, and if you wear it, you get a bonus."

Clyde grinned while he watched his friends tear open their gifts.

"Oh no," Craig said as he saw what was inside Tweek's box.

Tweek pulled out a two-toned green Christmas sweater covered in 16-bit images of coffee cups and coffee beans. He looked more confused than anything when he held it up in front of him, but as he looked at it, he started to like it.

"Yeah, I'm totally gonna wear this. Thanks, Clyde!" he said.

"You're welcome, my dude! Token, what do you think of yours?"

"It's...different. I'll wear it tonight to get the stat bonus, but don't expect me to wear this ever again after tonight." Token pulled the purple and gold sweater featuring an image of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer surrounded by dollar bill signs and the phrase 'Blitz better have my money' underneath over his head. "Also, I'm pretty sure I should be offended by this…"

Jimmy already had on his sweater that was simply had a large 'face with tears of joy' emoji on the front. The emoji was also wearing a Santa hat. "I guess the hat is what makes this a Chr-Christmas sweater?"

"Yeah, I wasn't really sure about that one, but you use that emoji all the time, so I had to get it."

"Clyde, I'm gonna tell you now that I'm not wearing whatever is in here," said Craig.

"Craig...trust me on this, okay?" said Clyde. "I had it custom made for you, cause you're my best bro."

Craig raised an eyebrow and opened his box. Inside was a blue sweater that was covered in white snowflakes and middle fingers.

"This...this is a work of art that I will treasure forever. Okay fine, you got me. I'll put on the damn sweater." Craig tried to hide the smile that spread across his face while he put on the sweater, but it wasn't lost on Clyde.

"Okay, so you all get cold resistance to your armor," explained Clyde before continuing the story.

* * *

_Once the party was prepared, they spent one more night at the inn, courtesy of the innkeeper and his wife, and they ventured out to the mountain at daybreak._

_As they climbed, it began to snow and the wind began to pick up, whipping against their bodies with a ferocity that they had never experienced before. The temperature continued to drop the higher they went, and soon there was snow and ice on the ground, but none falling from the sky. Luckily, they did not feel the sub zero conditions through their cold resistant armor._

_As they neared the summit, they noticed something sparkling in the snow._

_"What the fuck is that?" asked Feldspar, pointing to the ground in front of them._

_Bardy bent down to pick up the long, silver strands, shaking off the excess snow. "It looks like tinsel. I think it's the same tinsel that was on the tree back at the inn."_

_"I'm going to take that as we're getting close to the culprit's hideout," said Kogan._

_Twunk ran ahead, stopping suddenly to bend over and pick up something else._

_"TWUNK FOUND RED AND GOLD BALLS IN SNOW!"_

_"I knew Yetis weren't the cleanest of monsters, but this is excessive," said Bardy._

_They pushed forward, and shortly they came across the entrance to a cave. More silvery strands of tinsel were gathered on the ground nearby. The party stood in the mouth of the cave, listening to see if they could hear any movement inside. They heard nothing._

_"You think we should head in and take a look around?" asked Kogan._

_"TWUNK NOT SURE THAT GOOD IDEA."_

_"Yeah...I don't think we have much of an option right now," said Bardy. He stood facing outside the cave and pointed at the large white wolf that was growling at them._

_"Oh shit!" cried Feldspar._

_The party ran into the cave on impulse as the wolf gave chase._

_"Continual flame!" Kogan called out as he cast a spell to light up the cave._

_Feldspar spun around and threw a throwing dagger at the wolf, burying it in its side. The wolf yelped and slowed down, but continued to pursue them. Feldspar turned back around to immediately crash into his brick wall of a boyfriend._

_"Why'd you guys stop?" he asked as he dusted himself off._

_He didn't need a response from his friends. Once he got a look at the towering green Yeti standing before them, he knew the answer._

* * *

"Yup. It's the fucking Grinch. I called it," said Craig in his usual flat voice. "He even has a dog. Let me guess—its name is Max."

* * *

_The Yeti pulled its arms out to its side in a threatening stance and roared. The sound echoed loudly throughout the cave._

_"Here it comes! Watch out for its Chilling Gaze, you guys!" called out Kogan as he readied his mace._

_"Are you sure this is like a regular Yeti? It doesn't quite look like the ones we've dealt with in the past!" asked Bardy._

_"I don't know, my friend, but I don't want to take any chances!"_

_The Yeti pulled back its hand, preparing to swipe its claws. It lunged toward the left, catching Feldspar on the arm before he could roll out of the way._

_"Ow! Fuck!" he said through gritted teeth, clutching his arm._

_Twunk's eyes burned with red hot rage at the sight of his beloved getting injured. With a ferocious roar, he flexed his muscles and pointed at the Yeti._

_"DON'T TOUCH TWUNK'S FELDSPAR!"_

_Twunk charged forward, raising his maul with both hands, and recklessly attacking the beast. The maul hit the Yeti's shoulder with a loud crack._

_Bardy ran over to Feldspar while Kogan swung his mace at the enemy and missed._

_"Are you okay?" he asked. "Do you need me to heal your wounds?"_

_"Nah. It hurts, but I'll be fine for now. I need to get behind the bastard to be effective, though."_

_"I can help you with that," Bardy grinned._

_He stood up and turned to face the Yeti, who was currently getting ready to throw another claw swipe._

_"Hey, you sloppy looking little bitch!" called out Bardy. "Yeah, I'm talking to you, buddy! You smell like a month old fish sandwich!"_

* * *

"Okay, so I'm going to do a wisdom save roll for the Yeti to see if Vicious Mockery lands, Jim." Clyde shook the dice in his hand and tossed it onto the table. "Three! All right, roll for psychic damage to the monster, plus it has disadvantage this turn."

* * *

_"Good one, Bardy!" yelled Kogan._

_Feldspar ran back behind the Yeti and hid in the shadows, waiting for the right time to strike. Kogan began to utter the incantation for Sacred Flame under his breath while Twunk sent his maul careening down onto the Yeti's chest. Kogan held up his hand and conjured a column of fire down onto the boss monster. Its fur and flesh was severely burned. When the fire disappeared, the bones in its arm were exposed, yet the Yeti seemed unfazed._

_"Is it not weak to fire?" asked Kogan._

_"I told you that this Yeti seemed off!" shouted Bardy. "It hasn't use its Chilling Gaze yet either!"_

_The Yeti held up both hands in front of Twunk. Its hands began to glow purple._

_"YETI MAKE MAGIC?" Twunk yelled as the Yeti sent a bolt of dark energy straight for him._

_The dark energy left Twunk in fear, but instead of running away, his berserker rage kept his feet firmly planted on the ground. Still, his nerves were shaken and he wasn't able to attack as hard as before._

_"Take this, you bastard!" Feldspar thrust his rapier into the Yeti's back while it was still focused on Twunk. "This is what you get for being a shitty Yeti and for using your dark magic on my boyfriend!"_

_The Yeti hollowed in anger and spun around, backhanding Feldspar and sending him flying across the room._

_Bardy ran to Feldspar's side and knelt down next to him. He strummed on his lute and sang for his friend's wounds to be cured._

_"There once was a man from Nantuckee~et!"_

_Feldspar felt a warm sensation pass through his body, and instantly his arm healed up and the pain all over his body vanished. When he stood up and snuck back up behind the monster, he noticed that there was more exposed bone where he had pierced its back._

_"I can see its skeleton, you guys!" he called out. "It shouldn't be able to survive much longer!"_

_They continued to fight, swinging their weapons and reciting their spells while trying to dodge the Yeti's powerful claws. With each hit they landed, more fur and skin fell from its body._

_After three more rounds of attacks, the adventurers stared in awe at the monster in front of them. Over half of its body was exposed to the bone, yet here it continued to stand in front of them, not slowing down and nowhere near giving up._

_"How?! What the hell is this thing?" cried Bardy._

_"TWUNK MAD AT STRANGE YETI! GRAAAAAWR! TWUNK END THIS NOW!"_

* * *

" _I rip the fucker's head off!"_ shrieked Tweek. His fists were clenched, his teeth bared, clearly worked up by the boss fight.

"What?" Clyde laughed. "Okay dude, that's _awesome_. Uh...let's see. You can do that successfully if you roll a sixteen."

Tweek grabbed the twenty-sided die and rolled it like his life depended on it.

* * *

_Twunk reared back and let out a guttural cry. He charged forward, grabbed either side of the monster's head with his hands, and ripped the beast's head clean off its body._

_The party gasped as the monster's body did not crumple to the ground. It stayed in a fighting stance._

_"What the hell?" asked Bardy._

_"Excuse me, but could you kindly put my head back on my body?" said the severed head._

_"GAHH!" yelped Twunk as he dropped the head on the floor._ _The skull rolled out of its green fur and over toward one of the cave walls._

_Feldspar bent down to inspect the strange pelt. He poked it with his finger. It felt like no fur he'd ever touched before. He picked it up and realized that it was actually a poorly crafted hood designed to resemble a Yeti. Now that he was seeing it up close, he had no clue how they had thought the Yeti they'd just fought was real._

_"What is even happening right now?" asked Kogan as he approached the intact and apparently sentient skull._

_"I am waiting to have my head placed back upon my body. I'm not here to recite Shakespearean quotations, you know!"_

_"Who—or what—are you?" asked Kogan._

_"The name's Jack. Sorry about all that aggression back there. A skeleton has to defend himself, you know!"_

_"If we put your head back on your body, would you please tell us what the fuck is going on here?" asked Feldspar._

_"Certainly!" said Jack._

_Twunk lumbered over and carefully picked up the talking skull. "YOU NO BITE TWUNK, OKAY?" He set it back atop its spine, and the body took care of making sure everything was in its proper place._

_"Now then," said Jack, removing the rest of the destroyed Yeti costume, "like I said, I'm sorry that we had to fight. I didn't expect anyone to come and attack me when my plan was almost completed. I've come so far, I couldn't fail now."_

_"What 'plan'?" asked Bardy. "You got a lot of nerve harassing those people down there."_

_"It all started back when I tried to be Santa Claus for a night. Let's just say it didn't go so well. After apologizing to Santa, he told me to stay in my lane and I really took that to heart. I realized that, as the face of Halloweentown, I need to stick to my brand of tricks, treats, spooks, and scares._

_"So I did some more research and figured out a way that I could combine what I'm good at with that same Christmas energy I adore! I heard about this legendary monster who once stole Christmas from an entire town of people! So I came here to Mount Tannenbaum in order to recreate that grand feat. I was almost done, too! Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and at midnight, I was going to return all the gifts and decorations to the people of Noel and share in their grand communal Christmas dinner."_

_"Does Noel even do a communal Christmas dinner?"_

_"Is that the most important thing to ask right now, Bardy?" said Feldspar._

_"Look, Jack, the people of Noel are livid, and some are really scared, even fearing for their lives. Even if you return everything you stole, I don't know if they'll just forgive and forget. What you did is really serious," said Kogan._

_"Oh no. I mucked it up again, didn't I? Sally warned me again this time, but I didn't listen to her. Again. Oh dear. I don't know how I can fix this," said Jack._

_"IT'S EASY. GIVE BACK CHRISTMAS, SAY SORRY, AND GO HOME."_

_The other party members nodded in agreement. Jack took a moment to think about it, then nodded as well._

_"You're right. Zero and I will make this right. Thank you, brave adventurers...and Merry Christmas."_

* * *

"And so Jack returned all of the gifts and decorations to the people of Noel, and after much explanation and apologies, everyone was able to have a merry Christmas after all."

Everyone at the table cheered, even Craig.

"I didn't see that twist coming, dude. You got me. Nice one," Craig said to Clyde, a small smile appearing on his face.

"Never underestimate the king of DMing," grinned Clyde as he pointed to himself.

"Hmm…" Clyde thought as he glanced at the clock. "It's just about nine. I don't think my dad is going to get back until one or two in the morning, assuming he doesn't just crash at the Marsh's house tonight. Umm...would you guys want to stay over tonight? We could make it a slumber party, like old times."

"I'm up for it," said Jimmy.

"Count me in," said Token.

"Me too!" said Tweek.

They all stared at Craig, waiting for his answer.

"I'm only in if we order some food. All that not-Grinch fighting made me hungry," said Craig.

"I'll go order some things from City Wok," said Jimmy as he got up from the table and headed into the kitchen.

"I'll go make some more cocoa to fill the flagon," said Token. "Wait up, Jimmy!"

Craig and Tweek snuggled together as Clyde joined them on the couch. Clyde turned on the TV and the three of them started to pick out their favorite Christmas movies to stream.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed it, please leave kudos or a comment! Also feel free to chat with me on Tumblr, @otherluces


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